Parody of Romeo and Juliet Act 1 Scene 5
by Chomper2013
Summary: A parody I had to write for English class. R


Ok... quick note:

Juliet is Lindsey

Tybalt is Kyle

Paris is Justin

Romeo is Jayson

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Act I Scene V

It's March 31st and Lindsey Matthews is out at the club, Strut, in London. Why is she there? It happens to be her 21st birthday, and thus her cousin and best friend Kyle Matthews decided to drag her to Strut against her will. He also took the liberty to invite his friend Justin Frankman. Justin is a well known bachelor, and supposedly hot as hell.

(Outside the club we hear pulsating techno)

Random Person- I want to get in!

Bouncer- Honestly, if I let you in, I would lose my job. And not because you're ugly, because you're loud and obnoxious.

Random Person- That isn't fair!

Bouncer- Too bad, you don't like it? You can leave.

Random Person- But!

Bouncer- Go away before I make you wish you had left!

Random Person- Meep!

(Entering the club)

DJ Jaxx- Everybody! I think that it is time to get this party started! Welcome to Spin City, Strut style!

Now, as is the custom here at Spin City, we need to pick a lucky few to give us three songs each and I know who we shall choose. Or at least my two. I chose my man Jayson, the best Bar Tender here at Strut! And I know his songs. They're "Sandstorm" by Darude, "Animal I've Become" by Three Days Grace, and as a new favorite "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz and Ludacris! But what about his lucky partner? That we will decide later on! Enjoy the Spin City! Let's Go!

(Enter Lindsey and Kyle)

Lindsey- Kyle, why are we here. I would have rather gone to a dinner, not a club.

Kyle- But my dearest, that would mean that you and I wouldn't get to spend this lovely time in the club, dancing the night away!

Lindsey- Honestly, you came to watch the hot guys. I know you did! I saw your eye on that bartender when the DJ announced him.

Kyle- That may be, but I brought you a gift, in the form of a 6 foot 2 hottie named Justin.

Lindsey- I don't want to go out with him, or even meet him!

Kyle- Lindsey, just give him a dance! Maybe you two will like each other!

Lindsey- I doubt that! I really do! I can't get over him. I know I need to, but it hurts! He freaking used me!

Kyle- I know hun, but get over him. He isn't what you need right now. And what you need right now is that tall hunk walking across the dance floor towards us!

Lindsey- That's Justin isn't it?

Kyle- Yup! Darling he's fabulous! And straight!

Lindsey- Are you high? How can any straight man tolerate you? You are such a FLIT!

Kyle- Okay, maybe he isn't straight. He's a little slanted, but trust me! In the outfit you are wearing he won't be able to resist you!

Lindsey- Oh dear lord. I'm not going out with one of your little friends!

Kyle- Darling! Never! We became good friends a while ago. Plus he told me he thinks you are totally adorable!

Lindsey- Really? Well. One dance. One dance and that's all.

Kyle- Really? YES!

Lindsey- Remind me not to let you drink later… or have sugar.

Kyle- But Lindsey what about that cake I got you?

(Enter Justin)

Justin- Hey Kyle. And you must be the lovely Lindsey I've heard so much about!

Kyle- Hey there! And yup that is my baby cousin!

Lindsey- Baby? I'm 6 months younger than you.

Kyle- So?

Lindsey- Forget it! I'm getting a drink.

Kyle- Get me a Rum and Coke, and Justin?

Justin- Mojito please?

Lindsey- Yeah sure.

(At the bar)

Bartender- Hey there babe, what can I get ya?

Lindsey- Rum and Coke, a Mojito, and whatever your specialty drink is.

Bartender- Okay little miss. By the way my name is Jayson, but you can call me whatever you want.

Lindsey- Lindsey, and what ever you say doll.

Jayson- Doll? That's a new one.

Lindsey- What? Oh dear lord. Sorry, I call my cousin and friends doll. It's a force of habit.

(Meanwhile with Kyle and Justin)

Kyle- I can't believe her luck!

Justin- Huh?

Kyle- She has Jayson as a bartender. Of course she would get him.

Justin- Kyle, I thought you said you were over him?

Kyle- I thought I was until I heard the DJ say his name.

Justin- Well it'll be fine.

Oh Hey!

Look! She'll be fine! You're being paranoid!

Hey there! I haven't seen you in a while!

Relax and breathe, or leave and I'll take your cousin home later.

Kyle- Okay fine. Let's sit.

(Back with Jayson and Lindsey)

Jayson- It's ok. Now how about you. What should I call you?

Lindsey- I think the more appropriate question is when?

Jayson- When I get off. And seeing as your drinks are done, I'll need your number.

Lindsey- Sure, but how much for the drinks?

Jayson- It'll be about 25.

Lindsey- Oh no. No, no no.

Jayson- What's wrong babe?

Lindsey- I only have 22.

Jayson- Oh really? Well then, guess you ain't getting your drinks.

Lindsey- Jayson! What if we come up with a compromise?

Jayson- Like what?

Lindsey- I could give you a kiss for each missing dollar?

Jayson- I like that idea.

Lindsey- Well, good things come in threes.

Jayson- That is true.

(They kiss the first time)

(Back with Kyle and Justin)

Kyle- She! She kissed him!

Justin- No, I bet you're seeing things.

Kyle- Look! She's kissing him again!

Justin- Oh. Oh my god. Jesus. Sorry Kyle!

Kyle- I can't believe her! I can't believe her!

(Back with Lindsey and Jayson)

Jayson- One more babe.

Lindsey- I know.

(They kiss the last time)

Jayson- We're even now. I'll see you around babe. Maybe when you get a few more drinks?

Lindsey- Maybe. See you later…

(Back at the table)

Kyle- Enjoy yourself?

Lindsey- I have no idea what you mean!

Kyle- You were kissing the bartender.

Lindsey- Kyle! You are so…

Justin- Lindsey we saw you.

Lindsey- Look, I couldn't pay for the drinks fully, we compromised. I was three dollars short, so I gave him three kisses.

Kyle- You don't even know him!

Lindsey- And you do?

Kyle- Well… actually.

Lindsey- Who is he?

Kyle- He's my ex boyfriend.

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Like it? Well tell me!

Review!


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